DEAR I NEED LOVE TOO.
It seems as if you’ve made the right decision about not pursuing a more concrete relationship with your ex. If he’s volatile that wouldn’t be a good environment for you or your child. Children can sense tension and it would do her more harm having all of you under one roof. Please use caution moving forward with your ex. Since he was able to get back in your bed after the divorce it would be like playing with fire if you continue to casually sleep with him. If it’s over there shouldn’t be any looking back. As far as it being too soon to get back in the dating arena, I would say no. However you need to be very selective as to the men that you allow in the presence of your child, particularly if you plan on dating multiple men and not committing to one relationship (which is your right). You would be wise to only bring a man into your child's life if that man has proven himself to be responsible, loving and trustworthy. I say go for it. Time waits for no one.

---

DEAR LACE,

My husband and I have been married for five years and we’ve tried just about everything in the bedroom—except a ménage a trois. I find him always looking at other women and he keeps asking me over and over could we have a threesome. I’ve toyed with the possibility but that’s something I’ve never entertained. He knows I’m uneasy so he’s suggested that I pick the girl. I don’t want to do it but he keeps begging me to go there. I don’t want to lose him and I don’t want him to be with other women without me.

Sincerely,
Hopeless
April, Philadelphia, PA.

DEAR HOPELESS,
Don’t open these doors if you don’t want to go there. It sounds to me that your husband is extremely selfish. If consenting married adults mutually agree to choose to engage in certain sexual acts such as a ménage a trois then that is their choice and they have that right regardless of who agrees or disagrees with them. However the key is MUTUAL AGREEMENT, it’s obvious that you are not in agreement with such an act and therefore your husband should respect your decision. There isn’t any marriage vow that involves allowing another woman in your bedroom. His persistence and pressure is rooted in selfishness and possibly also rooted in deeper self-esteem issues and sexual dysfunction that is sometimes caused from an over indulgence or addiction to porn. If the roles were reversed and you asked your husband to bring another man into the bedroom I am pretty certain that your husband would do a complete 180 on the ménage a trois issue, which would prove his underlying selfishness. By all means do not take part in the ménage a trios as it will surely open up a floodgate of marital and sexual problems for you. In addition, I sense that you, like me, respect and cherish the sanctity of marriage and keeping the marriage bed pure. And I am sure that you would agree that the act of love making between a married man and woman should be reserved solely for that married man and woman. Hopeless if you don't set a boundary of not allowing a third party into the sexual space that God ordained for you and your husband then you and your husband should seriously reexamine the need for the two of you remaining married. Let your husband know that you value him and his desires, do not condemn him for being honest in sharing his desire with you, in fact praise him for that. But in a non judgmental way simply tell him that it is not something that you want to take part in. But as an alternative offer other ways of sprucing up your sex life such as role playing.

DISCLOSURE: All general advice is purely for fun and has not been prepared taking into account the individual circumstances of the person to whom it is given. All advice are the thoughts of Crystal Lacey Winslow and not Melodrama Publishing. Participants should seek the advice of a licensed, trained professional, which Ms. Winslow is not nor claiming to be.