Trina ain’t hardly the baddest bitch. Trust me, the diamond princess ain’t have a damn thing on La Perla. She, no matter how many songs she writes, will never be me. She claims that shit; I lived that shit. And then some.
Furs kept me warm. Diamonds weighed me down. My ass got permanent jet lag from all the trips I was taking. Parking lot full of cars, safe full of money, cabinets full of liquor. The finest men in the world beat my door down trying to get a taste. All I had to do was smile to get whatever I wanted. I can still smell the blaze they used to hit with me; the champagne that flowed for me is still on my lips. I’m still smiling thinking about how fun those parties were.
I had been a good girl my whole life, and when I finally broke out of my shell, I was ready to give ’em hell. They say life has a way of making you live it. No truer words have ever been spoken. At the peak, at the very top, the height of my fame, something happened. It’s called life. Just when I thought it couldn’t get any better, it went and got worse. I don’t blame anyone else but myself. Too busy ballin’ outta control to notice what was going on with the real world. I thought I was slick, thought I could outsmart life, but the Good Lord looked me in the eye and like Biggie, said, ‘You dead wrong.’
By the time my high came down, I was out of it, left and right. The queen had to give up her crown and go back to stomping grapes with the rest of the kingdom. I’ve come a long way in the past few months. No doubt I’ve still got a long way to go. I’ll never get over it but I can try and move on. I’ve buried my demons and made peace with my past. If anyone didn’t like it, they can kiss my honey-brown ass. I’m not proud of any of it. But I did what I had to do to survive. I heard a funny statement the other day. Something like, ‘It’s a cold world out there, and if you ain’t under the umbrella, you gonna get rained on.’ Lord knows I was soakin’ wet.